Judith Warner’s book Perfect Madness, published by Riverhead Books, tells us that Warner found out during her research:
“Seventy percent of American mothers say they find it ‚incredibly stressful‘ to be a mother these days . ”
„It is reported that thirty percent of young mothers have depression.“
In countries where all that glitters is somehow considered gold and therefore desirable, women discover that it is not desirable to play roles that God has not intended for them.
Western women who have struggled to meet the natural requirements of a „super mother“ find that if they hit their heads against the glass ceiling, they get more than just a headache. You find yourself in a vicious circle. Her makeup and hairstyle must be perfect, her clothing size unrealistically small, her children must be perfect, talented and successful, her houses must be spotless; and she has to do all of this in the stolen hours between work and bedtime.
This is more than just fighting against the glass ceiling when pursuing career goals: it is the relentless and constant hitting your head against a wall. As Judith Warner states: „I have seen so many mothers banging their heads against the wall, treating their pain – the chronic headache of their lives – with sleeping pills, antidepressants and anxiety medication, and the more capable they are, the more pronounced theirs is self-and-other debilitating form of anxious perfectionism. ”
The chronic headache of a lifetime …! Is life? This is mere survival in a life of stress and loneliness. This goal of the supermothers is unattainable, not because women are incapable, but because they fail to see that fulfilling their natural and predetermined roles is the real great achievement. Playing mother, wife and career woman – everything at the same time is not an enviable state and the role of women as carers and housewives should be given priority over careers and other activities, except in emergencies.
Islam defines women as super women – but in a different way. Islam recognizes that the role of women is of paramount importance. He explains that marriage is half the religion. He clearly states that heaven is at the feet of mothers. Islam goes beyond just acknowledging that; it clearly defines the role of women and clearly and reasonably defines their rights and duties.
The role of women in raising children is stronger than that of the father. She is responsible for their emotional and intellectual development, as well as for their behavior. It is responsible for awakening their love for Islam, especially in their early years of development. If a woman understands the teachings of Islam and her own role in life, then she also understands her full responsibility for raising her children, as stated in the Quran.
„O you who believe, save yourself and yours from a fire whose fuel is people and stones.“ (Quran 66: 6)
Over 40 years ago, Muslim women who were safe in their roles and their lives could see the harm caused by the western way of life. In 1962, after watching her western sisters, Salma al-Haffar said in the Al-Ayyam newspaper in Damascus:
“It is really a shame that women lose the most valuable thing that nature has given them. It is her femininity and joy because the constant cycle of exhausting work has made her lose the little paradise that is the natural sanctuary for women and men alike, a sanctuary that is only under the care of a mother who stays at home. can bloom. The joy of the individual and of society as a whole can be found at home, with the family; the family is the source of inspiration, good works and creativity. ”
Nowadays women are often forced to make a choice that is not easy. She often feels that she has to work to help support the family financially. She is often the only breadwinner in the family. Before we shame the constraints and demands of today’s society and blame them for destroying family values and for the pain and anger of failing supermothers, let us recall how unrealistic we idealized the life of women in the 21st century to have.
On the other hand, the lives of Muslim women should only be guided by the commandments of the Quran and the Sunnah. We must not be fooled by slogans like „times have changed“.
The Prophet Muhammad, God’s blessings and peace be upon him, was sent with the message to all of humanity forever and everywhere. The guidelines that have been sent down to us from our Creator, God Almighty, are perfect and cover all situations. God makes clear that the woman is primarily responsible for her creator, then her husband, and then her home. Nothing prevents a woman from continuing education, working, or pursuing other goals. Not except for the wellbeing of her family.
The importance Islam attaches to marriage is clear.
“And among His signs is that He created wives for you from within yourself so that you may find peace with them; and He put affection and mercy between you. Here are truly signs of a people who think. ” (Quran 30:21)
The common by-product of marriage is children, and these children are the future of society. What bigger role can there be than that of the mother? How could the women they meet be viewed as anything other than super women? Women who understand their religion can rest assured that God the Most High knows best what is best for His servants.
Women have to be vigilant, because the future of our society is in their hands and burned-out supermothers achieve nothing but stress and anxiety. Unfortunately, many non-western women are rushing blindly to follow a hackneyed path these days. It is a path of consumption and excess, and it does not lead anywhere. This nowhere has no hold; it is just a feeling of emptiness and loss. It is better not to forget such women; let’s learn from their mistakes.
As Perfect Madness research shows, hopelessly clinging to Western lifestyle is not a cure for what hurts us. The motherhood that should be sought is compatible with God the Most High. It is not like that and more. If we can achieve this, we are the real super women, the real super mothers.