Question #3: “Is it allowed for the woman to come between her husband and polylgyny?”
Shaykh al-Albānī answers:
“Of course, I believe that it is not allowed for her (to do so) because of two reasons: The first (reason) is that she is hindering (her husband) from the path of Allāh and the other (reason) is that she is opposing the command of her husband… Because you know that the obedience of a woman to her husband is obligatory just as the matter is with regard to the obedience of an individual member of a nation to the Muslim ruler – with an obedience which I don’t say is blind but rather a complete obedience – except what the Islamic legislation has made an exception, which is (obeying someone) in disobedience to Allāh. And from this result Islamically legislated rulings which (state) that if the Muslim ruler commands something that is basically allowed, this command becomes obligatory upon the one who is commanded with it to fulfill, because it is the command of the ruler. Exactly likewise is the command with respect to the wife with her husband.
So if the husband commands his wife with some command, while the command is allowed in the foundation of the Islamic legislation and while the woman is able to fulfill it, then it is obligatory upon her to obey him. And if she does not obey him, then she has disobeyed Allāh and His Messenger (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Therefore, concerning the usage of hindrances that the woman undertakes – which may come between her husband and that which he wants to attain from what Allāh, the Mighty and Majestic, has allowed, let alone if the allowed (matter) is a desirable, permissible one – then no doubt she will be disobedient twice. The first time is what I have previously mentioned, that she is cutting off the path (of Allāh); and the other matter is that she is opposing her husband in a command that she has no right to oppose because she is able (to fulfill it) and he is not wanting to do (an act of) disobedience to Allāh.”
~ asaheeha translations ~